Values: Resolutions

Welcome to 2013 one and all.  2012 was quite a year for myself and just about everyone I know. From businesses closing and new ones opening, to babies born, to marriages falling apart, and new loves blooming, this last year was seemingly the most eventful in quite a while for my circle of friends. Life is what we make of it, and we all do with these changes from 2012 is entirely up to us. 

I for one, plan to embrace the change. I plan to draw upon the enormous reservoir of love and friendship and support that I experienced last year and allow that to assist in filling my hot air balloon of adventure that will be 2013.  I finally feel as if I can breathe again, and feel ready to take on some new resolutions and  refocus my attention again on some aspects of life that bring me great joy.

One of the things that I will be adding back into my life will be this blog.  I had let it go at the end of last year because it simply was too much to handle when the rest of life was still completely out of whack.  I also realized that I don't think that blogging (and yes..eventually podcasting) will ever be a daily event for me and that's perfectly fine.  I can see at least a weekly post, but certainly not the daily posts that I was striving for at one small stretch in time.  Perhaps two posts a week would satisfy the need I have to share my thoughts and my own small journey.  As long as I am creating, I will be fulfilled.  

In the spirit of the day, I have started to compile my resolutions for the year.  I have a small list, as do most people, so let's start with #1 for today.

#1 Create

Creating art has been a passion of mine since as far back as I can remember. After a long enough hiatus, I have returned to painting.  I have the opportunity to show for my paintings in April that don't even exist yet, so it is time to get to making the donuts!  I completed my first painting in years for a good friend of mine and it felt so amazing and natural to put a brush back into my hands.  It was exciting to have the guts to finally let go and embrace the chance to paint in a purely abstract manner.  This was my first swing at it, and she loved it which is really all that matters.  

The next pieces will be quite smaller, but abstract as well. I need to trust and allow myself to create in a manner that is unfamiliar and uncomfortable. That's where it always gets good.  I am also going to be creating through this blog, as well as through writing again on a regular basis.  For me it's all about the discipline of the daily activity.  When I'm creating daily I feel like I'm exercising that muscle and making it stronger.  I am also going to attempt a photo a day on Instagram.  At the end of the year I might even make a book of the images  for myself and see how the year looks in a visual timeline.  I am not a natural photographer by any means, and it too makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Life for me begins at the end of my comfort zone, so this will be a good exercise.  Follow along that daily journey if you wish on Instagram. Just look for John Tusher and you will see where I'm up to.   I had an amazing shaman tell me once that he saw only artwork surrounding me.  He said that I embraced my creativity through many avenues, but that creating my own artwork was the most important gift for myself and others. I admit that I kind of poo-pooed that statement, but as time goes on, I feel like he may have been absolutely correct.  I'm excited and terrified and the prospect of creating again, but I know that I need to do it regularly be my most authentic self.  

Saturday Style: Cozy Up For Fall

 

If I'm going use this blog to talk about everything that I love, then I would be remiss if I didn't include fashion.  While I'm not a stylist, I do love to style women friends and I love women's clothing. My ex used to joke that I was her personal stylist. I wouldn't be able to do that as a career, and I couldn't tell a guy what to wear if my life depended on it, but I've always had a pretty good knack for what looks good on women.    I remember spending a good portion of my 8th grade Russian class trying wthout success to draw my own collection of women's clothing:  "JT of LA".  It looked like a cross between early Duran Duran, Devo, and Madonna.  Ouch. It was as bad as it sounds.  I think I'll stick to admiring the experts and their designs.

With the invention of pinterest, I can pull women's fashion inspiration, and organize them onto my pin boards. No longer do I need to keep binders upon binders of pages ripped from magazines.  I do have a section for men's style, but mostly that's just a place where I can put stuff that I dream about owning or wearing some day.  As fall approaches, I find myself pulling fall looks for a friend looking to freshen up her wardrobe. I'm loving all shades of grey, orange, neutrals,  and big chunky sweaters and scarves pair with leggings or jeans.   Don't even get me started about my love for women in boots.  Here are a few of my favorite looks I found yesterday.  All of these images are sourced on my pinterest page, so head over there for more inspiration if you wish. I'll be pulling more fall looks this weekend.  I have always found that fashion and interiors go hand in hand with color, texture, and pattern.  I am feeling like I'd like to redesign my home in the style of these clothes. I'd  also like to be with a  girlfriend who wore these clothes while we sipped on coffee on a drive through the fall leaves out to some out of the way b&b for the weekend, stopping for antiquing, apple picking, cold beach walks and campfire, fresh pie, and off the map exploring.  Ahhh fall.  It's my favorite season.

 

 

What's your favorite look for fall? Is there a piece of your wardrobe you couldn't live without as the weather starts to get colder?  How about some good inexpensive fall date ideas in case I happen to find that girlfriend before the season is over? Ha. 

images: all sources on pinterest

Nine Lives

So I took a brief break from the blog to handle some life business this last month.  With some loose strings finally wrapping up and clearing some room in my head, I feel like I'm ready to launch right into the next stages of creativity and work.  I've always been somewhat of a work-a-holic, so this next phase needs to come with a healthy sense of balance as well.  Balance is my life's work.  In order to get the most out of every single day, I try to make sure that my "work" is also something that is meaningful, and that I truly love.

I feel like I'm on my third life so to speak.  My first life was spent as an elementary school teacher. That career was incredibly fulfilling and rewarding on so many different levels (not monetarily that's for sure).  Those 5th and 6th grade students taught me more about management than any business course could have.  And, I would guess that I had a lot more fun in the process. The creativity and laughter that we shared, while teaching these young men and women about the wonders of education will never be forgotten.

My second life was spent building a company from scratch.  That was another extremely rewarding endeavor (not monetarily either..hmm..I sense a pattern). It started out with a thought back in the early 90s about retail and design. It morphed into a sketch on a napkin, and a foray into ebay and Beanie Babies.  This led into picking at garage sales, and eventually contacting some of the designers that I thought had potential for online sales and sales in Seattle. Jonathan Adler was the first I contacted, and we enjoyed a wonderful retail partnership through 2005.  Those were the fun days for sure and the rest was history. 

My third life, as scattered and hectic as it seems, is shaping up to be the best yet; the most authentic, passionate, simple,  humble, and real.  I didn't expect to have to have a 3rd life, as I had hoped life #2 would be the one to last forever. Having a 3rd one forced upon me has really presented me with an opportunity to make every decision and direction count.   I am excited about the opportunities and  possibilities, and about the many amazing people that I will be working with across the country, and especially the Pacific Northwest.  I am working on tying these possibilities into the podcast that will indeed be coming in the upcoming months.  I'm not a techie, even though I worked on an e-commerce site daily and am obsessed with social media. It is daunting to think about tackling the software and equipment (as simple as it is) to start recording a podcast. I know I know. It couldn't be more dummy proof.  Once I simply plug it in and do it, I will be on my way.  Just do it as they say.

Here's to 2 lives lived to the fullest, and on to a 3rd life of adventure and uncertainty.  How many lives have you lived?

PS.. for those of you that remember me as a painter, prepare yourselves. I'm going to be dipping my toes back into that realm too!  A dear dear friend is giving me the opportunity to create a piece for her bedroom that she is redecorating,  in trade for who knows what..maybe some homemade lasagna?  That sounds good to me!  I'm just excited to be putting a brush to canvas again. First time in almost 12 years.  Yikes! 

Moving Forward: Wake Up!

 

My dear friend, life coach, and author of the blog A Cake Walk Life, Kerstin McInnis posted this picture on A Cake Walk Life's facebook page today (you should take a walk over there and give it a like. There's some good stuff there!) If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you need to do is wake up.

I think it captures two of the things that are hardest for me on a given day. One is simply to wake up.  I'm a night owl by nature, and waking up early has always been a goal of mine. I dream of waking up on my own at around 5:30,  refreshed, and ready to tackle early morning tasks before going to work or before the world has had their first cup of coffee.  I also dream of this happening after staying up until 2 am doing similar work, or enjoying the company of friends.  I also dream about waking up at 5 and strapping on the running shoes and heading out for an early morning run. Hmmm. Me thinks something has to give.  I try my very very best to get a good 7 hours of sleep each night, but during some stretches of fun and inspiration, that simply isn't going to happen.  If you are a night owl, how do you balance that with getting up early or have you simply resigned yourself to a life of waking up with a jarring alarm clock at 7?

The second piece of this picture is waking up to my goals and dreams.  Lately, it has been waking up the desire to possibly re-enter the dating world.  Now that is a scary enough proposition to send anyone back to bed, but I truly do love meeting new people and perhaps this is the time to simply meet new folks without any attachment to outcome.  I admit that I have fallen into relationships too easily, and too quickly. So this will be a good exercise in waking up, but not launching in with blinders on.  Waking up to what excites me about life, and then proceeding with calm and caution.  We shall see how I do with this exercise.  Anyone else out there doing this again as an adult with plenty of baggage with stickers from the countries of life?  I always say that the baggage doesn't have to be a matching set, but you better love and understand each other's crazy. 

I am also waking up to what really matters to me in life. When you fall down hard, and then fail up, you are left with some pretty raw moments of realization. Those can either take you out back and beat you up, or help to guide the next phase.  I choose the guiding path thank you very much.  One example: I am realizing that "stuff" simply doesn't hold the same appeal to me as it did in the past. I was surrounded by stuff all of the time. Now don't get me wrong. I love nothing more than a good flea market or to do some free-style picking. If I had my druthers I'd travel around this country picking interesting objects all day long.  But, I'm not interested in filling my space for the sake of filling it. Nor do I have the shopping bug that needs to be fed by buying all of the time. I enjoy the few things that I have, and love that they tell a story. I am waking up to the realization that I don't want to buy another thing for my life that I don't truly cherish, isn't beautiful to me, or completely functional.   For someone who has spent the last 12+ years in retail, this feels a little strange, but also liberating. I have always loved helping someone get the perfect item for their home that they truly love.  I was also never selling items to be disposed of quickly. Things were meant to last and to be either passed down or passed along to someone else.  I think that things can either be like a beautiful dress, or an ornate coffin.  They should make you feel good all of the time. If they simply get tossed into the depths of a closet never to be seen again then what is the point?  I find myself drawn to objects that I can imagine Z and family and friends being surrounded by the enhance the experience of living but don't replace it. 

Waking up is hard to do at times, but boy it's pretty awesome when you do, and feel ready to take on the world. 

image: pickthebrain

 

Saturday On The Turntable: Ratatat

Groovin to the sounds of Ratatat this Saturday.  Such a simple hook.  Here's a live video from Bonnaroo last year. Hope you are having a chill summer weekend of friendship and good times.

Confession: Fellow Romantics Unite

Ok, confession Friday here.  My confession today, other than eating a few yogurt pretzels with Z out of the bulk food bin without actually getting a bag of them (shocking Seattle rebellious activity!), is that I'm a hopeless romantic.  Perhaps I'm just overly optimistic, or maybe I just love the idea of a relationship that I've never experienced.  Maybe I long for the romantic shit that I see on Pinterest simply because I know that a real relationship includes a lot of  work to keep it growing and fresh. It can be the most glorious and fulfilling work that you will ever do, or it might be the hardest work that simply leads to natural end of things.  Either way, it's a risk, a challenge, and always a leap of faith on both parties.  I go through phases of wanting absolutely nothing to do with romantic relationships (friends have labeled this typical time of struggle for me a strange term that I've yet to master: Valentine's Day. What is this Valentine's Day that you all speak of with such fondness? For me it usually means the end is near), to really craving someone in my life that gets me to my core. 

I crave a romantic relationship where two very like minded people who are confident in themselves  have each created an incredible life of their own. A relationship that sees both parties stretching themselves into new territory and then running back to each other, breathless, eager to tell them about the amazing things that they have discovered: new foods, lands, books, history, experiences, ways of thinking.  Then, what those two people do with this new knowledge can be earth shaking.  I've always said that the best of relationships are represented by the simple equation of 2 + 2 = 5.   4 is so pedestrian, and simply a comfortable roommate. 5 on the other hand is the synergy of two forces that are simply meant to be together. Two forces who's values match up, but whose baggage does not need to be a matching set.  

Hi. My name is John, and I'm addicted to love.   (Insert your own Robert Palmer private dance party here)

Values: Friendship

I apologize for missing a couple of posting days here this last week, but it has been a very busy week to say the least.  One of my best friends just received a fantastic award at his place of employment, and a group of us were there to celebrate at the all store recognition meeting.  Work has been busy and hectic as we concluded our massive sidewalk sale with success and a feeling of a job well done. AND, most importantly,  I have had the chance to connect with two new phenomenal people with whom I formed an instant connection.   You know that feeling you get when you meet someone new and it feels like you have known them for your entire life? Yep. That's the week I've had. It's almost like catching up with them after years of lost contact, even though you only met them days ago. It's a strange and wonderful bag of emotions.  At times it's even kind of eerie. You end up finding commonalities that shock and astound, as well as those that bring gales of laughter that leave some of us literally falling on the floor.  Those are the moments that I cherish. Those are worth more to me than any thing I can purchase or own. They are worth to me than any amount of money or security in a bank account. Those are the moments that I believe resonate throughout people and flow to the next people and the next. It's that continuation of feelings of love and laughter from friends to their friends to their families and their works and so on that bring joy to this world.

One of the conversations that was had this week revolved around the value of friendships, and if it is a red flag or not when someone you meet does not have any close friends, or friends from over a long period of time that know their deep dark secrets and are there for them through hell and high water. I have determined that to me, the value of friendship is priceless.  I adore my friends. I would do anything for them and I know that they all have my back. This has been a trying few years to say the least, and my friends have been my lifeline, my support, my true anchors. My family serves a different type of support system than my friends. My friends, and the time and energy that I put into communication and maintaining those friendships are so vital to my happiness and enjoyment. 

Part of the process of friendship is to know when to cut loose those people that are toxic or energy suckers. You know the ones I mean. The ones that are constantly negative, nagging, or irritated. The ones that never seem to see possibilities at every turn or take risks or chances in order to lead an authentic life.  For me it's the ones that have no ambition, or drive, or desire to make themselves better people at every choice they make. I have slowly weeded out those people from my life as I realize their true motivation (bring me down to their level of unhappiness), and fill those slots with more and more amazing folks. The more I open myself up to incredible people of all walks of life, the more of the "right" people seem to find their way into my life.  I feel so very very fortunate and grateful for these people in my life. 

One of my favorite things Z has said to me was tonight, after spending the afternoon connecting with a great group of random friends at our local farmer's market evening on Queen Anne.  He said, "Daddy, I love all of our friends. Let's name them all. (which he proceeded to to). They are so much fun. Can we have them around all for a long, long, LONG time?"  Yes indeed.